Dealing with an Ex Who Keeps Trying to Contact You - What to Do
If you're finding yourself in the uncomfortable situation where your ex keeps trying to contact you despite both of you being married, it's important to take immediate but diplomatic action. This can prevent further harassment and protect your personal peace of mind and well-being.
Preventing Further Contact
First and foremost, it's crucial to inform and involve your spouse about the situation. They need to be aware so that they can assist you if necessary. Once your spouse is aware, the next step is to address the ex directly. Contact the ex's spouse and let them know what's happening. This can be done through a phone call, email, or a hand-delivered letter.
Blocking and Changing Contact Information
The first defensive measure is to block the ex on all social media platforms. This will prevent them from reaching out through these channels. Furthermore, change your phone number and email address to make it harder for them to contact you. If the ex finds a way around this and persistently tries to contact you, it's advisable to seek legal advice. A solicitor can write a formal letter to the ex and their spouse, emphasizing that such contact attempts are considered harassment, and that you will seek a restraining order if the behavior continues.
Implementing Deterrents
To deter further attempts at contact, inform the ex that you will notify their spouse every time they try to contact you. This could be a powerful deterrent, as it keeps the ex's spouse in the loop and can lead to more serious consequences if they continue to ignore your warnings.
Ensuring Safety and Protection
If you have already blocked the ex on all platforms, they should no longer be able to reach you. However, if the ex is still trying to stay connected through friends or family, they need to understand that they are part of the problem. If you have not blocked the ex, it's important to ask yourself why. Consider how the other spouse would feel if an ex attempted to contact them, and how you would feel if the other spouse was an ex of yours. These questions can help clarify your perspective and guide your actions.
Importance of Setting Boundaries
If you have deleted, unfriended, or blocked all conversations with the ex, it's essential to maintain your boundaries. If the ex is persistent despite these efforts, you need to take stronger measures. The continued attempts at contact clearly indicate a lack of commitment and respect on the ex's part. You may be seen as the 'backup plan,' waiting for that moment when they need a partner, only to be discarded once they find someone else more suitable.
Dealing with such a person is emotionally draining and can negatively impact your well-being. It's time to prioritize your happiness and move on to someone who values you and your spouse's relationship. You deserve better and you have the right to make choices that are healthy for you.