Where Should You Keep Your Ashes at Home?
When planning for one's end-of-life arrangements, the question of where to store the ashes becomes a sensitive yet crucial consideration. After cremation, the ashes belong to someone—often a family member—and must be stored thoughtfully and respectfully. This guide explores various options for keeping your ashes at home.
The Importance of Contemplation
Your partner's ashes were interred in a small grave with a headstone in one of our city's graveyards. It is reserved for cremated remains, and you visit it once a year on her birthday. For you, keeping her ashes at home seemed macabre, and might not have helped you get over losing her. This underscores a critical point: the method of storage can significantly impact your emotional well-being and the legacy you wish to leave behind. It is essential to consider not only practical concerns but also personal feelings and traditions when making this decision.
Scattering Ashes in a Litter Box
Another approach is to scatter the ashes into a litter box. This method can be particularly useful for those who prefer a more personalized and transformative ritual. For instance, scattering ashes in a litter box can symbolize the rebirth and renewal of life from the remains. However, it is crucial to discuss this option with anyone else who may have an interest in your ashes, as it involves sharing and potentially celebrating their memory.
Trays for Ash Storage
There are trays specifically designed to keep ashes. While they may not be in demand these days, they were quite common during certain times. You might even find some at thrift stores, making them a nostalgic and affordable option. These trays come in various designs and materials, such as ceramic, wood, or metal. They can be displayed on mantlepieces, shelves, or other display areas in your home, serving as a beautiful and tangible reminder of a loved one. These trays can hold your ashes while also allowing you to move them around as your needs change over time.
Emotional Considerations
When deciding where to store your ashes, think about the memories you want to honor and the rituals you would like to maintain. Keeping your ashes at home can evoke powerful emotions, both positive and negative. It is essential to weigh these emotions against practical considerations. For example, if keeping the ashes would keep you from enjoying your home, it might not be the best choice. Similarly, if the ashes are no longer wanted by the next generation who inherits your home, it is important to address this potential issue beforehand.
Symbolization and Personalization
Kept at home, your ashes can symbolize continuity and legacy. Some people choose to display them in a meaningful location, such as a family room or a space dedicated to loved ones who have passed. Others might prefer to keep them in a private area of your home, such as a bedroom that is particularly dear to you. The key is to find a balance between honoring your loved one and maintaining a comfortable living environment. Consider whether the presence of the ashes will bring you comfort or if it might cause discomfort in the future.
Respecting Future Possibilities
It is also wise to think about future generations. If you have children or a partner who will inherit your home, they may not want to keep your ashes. This is a deeply personal decision, and it is important to communicate your plans with them. You might want to have an open conversation about your intentions and the reasons behind them. This can help ensure that your wishes are respected and that everyone involved understands the significance of keeping or not keeping your ashes.
Conclusion
Deciding where to store your ashes at home is a deeply personal decision. It involves balancing practical considerations with emotional and symbolic elements. Whether you choose to store them in a tray, scatter them in a special place, or keep them at home, it is crucial to reflect on your wishes and the legacy you wish to leave. By taking the time to contemplate your options, you can create a meaningful and respectful arrangement that honors your loved one and supports your emotional well-being.